


Gay

by HasKnees



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Crying, He's having a hard time accepting it, I might write a part two, M/M, Mild Fluff, Minor Suicidal Thoughts, Mirrors, Self-Acceptance, Struggling with Sexuality, Talking to mirrors, happiness, tord is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:45:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15500595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HasKnees/pseuds/HasKnees
Summary: Learning it accept who you are isn't easy, but it feels great once you do it.





	Gay

**Author's Note:**

> woot wooOOt personal experience bro

Tord took a deep breathe, rubbing his eyes, and staring directly into the mirror. He carefully examined himself, biting and chewing at his lip. His gray eyes had filled with tears, his posture was slumped, and he _swore_ he was actually shaking.

All he had to do was say it. Out loud. It wasn't really that hard, or at least Tord felt like it shouldn't be, and yet it felt like a terrible weight sitting on his chest. Crushing him, dragging him under the water, drowning him, stealing away his breathe. He hated it, he hated it more then words could possibly express.

Two words.

It was just two simple words.

_I can do this._

"..." No words came out as Tord opened his mouth to speak, causing an overwhelming sense of defeat to flood him. Tears began to spill down his cheeks as he felt the himself choke up, a small sob shaking his entire body.

He didn't want to say it, he was scared. He was fucking scared, he didn't know what he was even scared of, but he was downright _terrified._

_Just say it._

"I-I.." His voice trailed off, the words dying in his threat. The Norwegian mentally kicked himself, wrapping his arms around his small body, tightly hugging. The feeling of drowning surrounded him more then ever. He wanted to curl up in bed, snuggle under the blankets and then never come out again.

The red hooded male took another deep breathe, inhaling sharply.

Tord could do this. He _could_ do this.

"M' gay." 

It had been soft, so quiet that barely even Tord had heard it. But he'd said it. He'd said those two little words out loud, he'd done it!

A much louder sob shook him, a small broken smile on his face. All those nights he'd spent feeling like he meant nothing, all the nights he'd spent hating himself and who he was, all the nights he'd spent literally wanting to _die_ were over. They were over!

Even though Tord knew his parents would be okay with it, because well, they were gay too- even though he'd known they'd be okay with it, even though he'd known all his friends wouldn't give a shit, he'd still been completely and utterly terrified to admit it to himself.

To admit that he was gay. That he liked boys.

He'd hated himself for so long because of that one tiny fact. Tord,at one point, would've rather killed himself then lived another day knowing that he _didn't_ like girls.

It was sad to think that. Sad to think he may have ended his life over who he was.

"Gay, I'm g-gay." He mumbled, a little louder then before, smile growing as he wiped at his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears, and well.. snot. _Ew. But, Tord couldn't really bring himself to care right now._

Tord was gay. He was gay, and he was happy. He was okay, this was _okay._

He wanted to tell Edd. He wanted to tell Edd so bad, he wanted to talk to his best friend. Who he loved. Who has was in love, oh my gosh he was in love with his best friend- 

_Okay, he'd get to that later, but still it was a little exciting to realize how much he loved someone._

Tord knew that Edd struggled as well, as the green hooded male had called him in tears when he had come out. The Norwegian had been more then happy for him, rushing over to Edd's house to shower him with the most support he could.

That had only been a week ago, and after that the red hooded male found himself struggling even more- 

He'd known he was gay for a long time, but he'd blocked it out. Shoved it down inside, kept it locked in a dark little corner where there was no way it could get out. 

It was such a relief to accept it. He felt so much better, so _so_ much better.

Tord was gay.

And he was more then okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> uwu this is a mess


End file.
